Wednesday, October 03, 2007

you know you're a mainer if...

This time of year I feel so homesick! Sure, it's pretty here in Minnesota. There are some gorgeous trees right here in my neighborhood. But it's not Maine! I nipped the following off Aunt ML's blog. She added the the ones in red. I added the ones in blue:


You've had arguments over the comparative quality of Fried Dough.
You're favorite ice cream is grapenut. Yessah! The best is made at Pat's Dairyland. And I love grapenut pudding, too.
You call four inches of snow "a dusting."
You don't "shovel" snow, you "dig out."
You don't understand why there aren't fried clam shacks elsewhere in the county.
You know what an Irving is and the location of 15 of them.
"I saw him go." has an "r" sound in it, but "My foot is sore." does not. Or the certain person we all know and love who spells "idea" with an "r" at the end.
You knew all the flavors at Perry's Nut House. Is that a southern Maine thing?
Your car is covered in yellow-green dust in May.
Your favorite smell is clam flats at low tide.
You can drive the Augusta traffic circle without slowing down.
You've hung out at a gravel pit. Yessah!
You think a mosquito could be a species of bird.
You once skipped school and went to Bar Harbor, Old Orchard Beach or Reid State Park. Ayuh.
Even your school cafeteria made good chowder.
You've almost fallen asleep driving between Houlton and Presque Isle.
You know how to pronounce Calais. Yessah! It's "callus," by gorey.
You've made a meal out of a Jordan's red dye hot-dog, a bag of Humpty Dumpty potato chips and a can of soda. Ayuh. And those hotdogs better be a good fuschia if I'm going to eat them.
You've gone to a Grange bean supper.
Baked beans ARE supper. With brown bread from the can.
In high school, you (or a friend) packed Deering Ice Cream cones.
At least once in your life, a seagull pooped on your head. I saw one poop on our neighbor's stomach at Bar Harbor!
At least once in your life you've said, "It smells like the mill in here."
There's a fruit and vegetable stand within 10 minutes of your house.
You crave Italian sandwiches at least weekly. And you pronounce it "EYE-talian."
Your house converts to a B&B every July and August for people from away that you happen to know.
All year long you're tracking sand in the house-from the beach in the summer and the roads and sidewalks in the winter. C'mon, not all Mainers live on the coast.
You have to have the sand cleaned out of your brake system every spring.
You do the majority of your shopping out of Uncle Henry's. Uncle Henry's rocks!
You've ditched the car on the side of the road somewhere because you thought you saw some good fiddleheads! Yessah!
You know a lobster pot is a trap, not a kettle. Coastal Mainers again.
You know not to plant tender crops until the last full moon in May.
You go to the dump and bring back more than you brought. Not me personally but I know SO many who do...
You've watched "Murder she Wrote" and snickered at the stupid fake accents. Yessah! Especially that Bosley guy.
You know how to find the rope swing at the quarry.
You take the New Hampshire toll personally. They have to have some consolation for living in that state.
You always wave when you see a Maine license plate in another state. Once I stopped at a red light in Reynosa, Tampaulipas, Mexico beside a guy with a Maine license plate! We rolled down the windows and chatted a minute. He'd just moved there to work in a maquiladora, a U.S. factory on Mexican soil.
When you're supposed to dress up, you wear flannel with a tie.
There's too much "stuff" in your 2 "cah" garage to get either of your cars into it.
You know what a frappe is.
L.L. Bean's not just a store, it's a way of life.
"The City" means exclusively Portland. And when you say "Portland" you are never referring to the inferior city by that name in Oregon. That would be "Portland, Oregon," which was named after Portland, Maine.
"Salt damage" is a viable insurance claim.
All of the traffic lights blink yellow at 10 o'clock at night.
It's not a storm - it's a Nor'eastah. We even said that inland.
"Open 24/7" might as well be Greek.
More stores have "Bienvenue" flags than "Welcome" flags.
You eat ice cream with flavors like 'Moose Tracks" and "Maine Black Bear".
You know that a chocolate doughnut is not a white doughnut with chocolate frosting.
You wouldn't eat beans in tomato sauce or Manhattan clam chowder if you were starving!
As a child, you played outside in a snow storm without hat, mittens, scarf and with your jacket open because it was just a little cool. Ayuh.
The area around your back door is referred to as "the dooryard".
You eat potato chips with flavors such as "clam dip", "ketchup" and "dill pickle".
You dice dill pickles and add them to clam chowder.
Vinegar is a condiment usually found at the supper table and poured on vegetables.
You call the basement "downcellah." Yessah!
There is only one shopping plaza in town. .
You use "wicked" as a multipurpose part of speech.
Correction: You use "wicked" as an adverb, as in "wicked mad" or "wicked funny." You would not use it as an adjective as in "That's a wicked man." Instead you'd say, "That man is e-vile."
Your pickup has more mud on it then the ground around it for a 15 foot radius.
More than 1/2 the meat in your freezer is moose. And the other half bear or venison!
You enjoy a hot chocolate more than a margarita.
If your "luxury vehicle" is a twelve-year-old rustbucket on wheels.
If your dog eats better than you do, and more often too.
If you never say what you paid for an item but how much you "give" for it.
People often tell you, "You are the very first person I've ever met from that state."
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Maine.

13 comments:

DTV said...

Also, the only way to be a Mainer is to have parents that are from Maine or to be born in Maine. I remember trying to explain this to Marta who moved here when she was 2. She wasn't a real Mainer. I'm not even sure if being born in Maine counts if your parents weren't.

Auntie Lee said...

I got such a kick out of that facebook group that I also joined the group Maineahs (people from the state of Maine). The scarry thing is that so much is true.

P.S. Did you guys get the picture I found on that group? I love that picture. Scarry

Calandria said...

Now, dtv, don't be a Mainer elitist. :-)

Auntie, I did not get the picture. Did you send it through email? I haven't got an email from you in ages and when I've tried to send one to you they always bounce back to me.

My email address is calandria4-at-comcast-dot-net.

ave said...

Yup, that's right DTV, and you need to be able to trace your family history in Maine or Mass. from the 16-1700's to be a true Mainer.
I love grapenut icecream. I even like Gram's version with deep fried grapenuts.

Karen ~ said...

Deep-fried grapenuts? Now you are all scaring me!!! I think of Euell Gibbons when I hear grapenuts. I never realized they were anything other than the boxed cereal. (was he a Maineah?)

Guess I would never be able to fake it as a Maineah.

Mallory said...

My boyfriend says he thinks we should be called "maineganese." Disgusting. Don't worry, I correct him every time. He's getting better.

Oh, and that one you added about how people always say "you're the first person I've ever met from Maine." SO TRUE. Often, people find the fact that I'm from Maine just as interesting as living on Saipan, and once in a while even more so. I'm not kidding either.

Anonymous said...

:)
Becky

Mama Ava said...

OK, people always have these things circulating about other states and most of the time a lot of them are interchangeable from one place to another. But Maine is clearly quite exotic! Most of them I didn't recognize at all, but got a kick out of reading them! I know Maine is known for its beauty and coastline, but maybe it should think about marketing itself as a cross-cultural experience!

ML said...

Maine is clearly unique as are Mainers themselves. I never come back from visiting home that I don't have a gallon jug of molasses or quart pails of marshmallow fluff stashed in my luggage--after all, my kids have to EAT!

ML said...

Ok, here we go..."No kiddin'" "Dow" "You don't say" Well, I nevah" and of course, "Mistah Man!"
And ALL true Mainers know how to scootch (even if they're not sure how to spell it!)

I HAVE to stop this! And Casey isn't even here giving me suggestions!!!

Calandria said...

Unc Casey would say, "Nummah than a hake."

mom said...

One of my favorite Maine expressions is all but extinct now, I think. It is the term "peeked" pronounced in two syllables, peek-ed, with the "ee" being sounded as a cross between long e and short i. It means something pointy like the end of a pencil or the tip of an arrow. If I reached into a basket and pricked my finger I would say, "I hurt my finger on something peeked!"

It was very common while I was growing up in central maine but isn't heard much anymore.

ML said...

My dad also used "peeked" to mean pale or sickly looking. "Yoah lookin' a little peeked t'day."