Sunday, December 14, 2008

what do you think?

I recently ran into this concept of motherhood:

"I had to realize that my roll as a mother is like Carol Burnett in the skit at the end of the Carol Burnett show. I clean up the stage and get it ready for the next performer. Once I made peace with that, I could be a happy mother."

What do you think of this? Is that how you see your/your wife's roll as a mother?

Do you think this concept applies equally to both fathers and mothers?


Anonymous said...

I certainly don't see that as the summum bonum of motherhood though it is an aspect of it. Fathers should be involved but, in my observation of my older generation, often declined the opportunity.

Mama Ava said...

I think there's a ring of truth to that. My sister-in-law, with 4 boys, says she thinks about how she's raising someone's husband, someone's father. That's a sobering thought sometimes, especially when you're behaving less than exemplary yourself in front of the kids!

ProMom said...

No, I'm not really seeing the "Carol Burnett" concept as being close to my experience as a mother. Mothering is more like herding cats.
I'll give it some more thought, though, and I'll let you know if I come up with anything more! I'd love to hear thoughts from others.

Anonymous said...

I guess the Carol Burnett thing has some trueth in it as far as evenings go but I don't see much in it other then that.
I don't know why many fathers seem to take a back seat in childraising. It's their choice. Maybe its a communication thing. I know that men don't communicate the same way or as much as women do. I think they just have a different style with childraising.
It is certainly a shame that many fathers don't want anything to do with their children. Mine didn't. So many children miss out because of that.

btw, I love the painting. I love the mother's face.

Mama Ava said...

I think a lot of dads are great dads. If the moms get out of the way. My husband is a great dad and very involved. There are so mnay times when I realize why kids need 2 parents. Sometimes I'm just not the person who reaches them in the same way he can.

A lot of times, though, I see moms swooping in and fixing things or second-guessing or redoing what dads are doing--even with the best of intentions. And I speak from experience that it doesn't take too much of that before a dad will just decide that his "domain" is not the kids and he'd be a better contributor if he fixed the lawn mower or made a few more phone calls at work before coming home.

Of course some dads just don't want to, but I think a lot would rise to the challenge and be great if given the chance.

ProMom said...

I think some dads take a back seat because that is what they saw their dads do. And I think some moms put their husbands in the back seat because that is what they saw their moms and dads do. We all need to raise our awareness.