Sunday, May 24, 2009

why i go back

[Kensington Chapel. Literally around the corner from my friend's house.]


There's a lot going on around here (mega amounts of end-of-school-year stuff), but maybe another reason I didn't get back to writing about what I think keeps people coming back to church is that I didn't feel I could add much to your great comments on the topic.

I was not very quiet about my particular church annoyance, at least in my home. My husband and my kids heard quite a bit about it. Georgie and Lidia are now at an age where they get it. And they agreed with me. (At least after hearing just my side of it. ;-)) Later I felt guilty. In our church we talk a lot about supporting our leaders by not "murmuring." After all, it's not like they went out campaigning for their jobs! It's not like they're getting paid. They are just doing their best to serve the Lord like everyone else, as Gabriela and others suggested in the comments. If I were in a leadership position (as I have been and will be again some day), I sure would appreciate support and understanding. I hope that my family understood that I was criticizing a way of thinking rather than a person. Maybe it doesn't matter. I felt guilty because I had demonstrated bad behavior to my children.

But then I thought, perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing to be open with them about this annoyance. They saw me get up this morning and get everyone ready for church. Georgie saw me teach her Sunday school class. They recently saw me accept a new calling for which I am very unqualified (Cub Scouts committee chair). I do want them to learn that in spite of our grievances and annoyances, we go to church. That's where we serve the Lord. That's where we make friends (not exclusively by any means, but it's a great place to do so). That's where we partake of the sacrament and renew our covenants. That's where we do our part to form a community that is faithful, hopeful, and charitable. And we are blessed for it.

8 comments:

athena said...

amen. boy can i relate to this right now.

Mama Ava said...

I think you have a healthy approach. Involving your children in discussions and letting them see how you go through a process of making decisions and exploring your faith challenges is such a gift. I think it provides such an invaluable opportunity for them to see how decisions are made, that adults often struggle or have questions, etc. How else can they learn how to begin to do that for themselves?

Mallory said...

I just read your other post and comments, so now I'm all caught up.

Yeah, I think it is important to be open about how you feel on certain topics, but I also think it's particularly difficult to show your disapproval at a way of thinking rather than a person when you use a person as an example. (Believe me, I know. I've gotten myself in trouble with adults about this, not to mention kids.) But, I don't know if that's exactly what you did.

Anyway, the reason I keep coming back, as I've explained to the bishop when he told me he was nervous about starting a ward choir because he feared losing whoever was conducting because no one showed up (I guess it's a bit of a problem around here), I believe in the Gospel, and the Plan of Salvation and in its design and Designers. My faith is not dependent on whether I love everyone in my ward or not. (Unfortunately, my salvation does depend a little on that, so I guess I'd better start trying at least.)

Ave said...

I am still trying to figure out what keeps me going.

Ave said...

hey, i am still eating that dark chocolate bar. I looked at their blog online, and it looks like Whole Foods carries Amano. You gave me the Madagascar, I have 3 squares left. mmmmmmmmm

Calandria said...

Athena, I'm glad I wrote about something relatable! We'll have to chat. :-)

Thanks, Mama Ava. I was thinking along those lines too. As usual, I like how you put it.

Mal, I agree that the disapproval of a person vs. way of thinking is not a big distinction. As it happened in this case, it was unclear who made this decision, so it was easy to leave names out of it.

Ave, you answered your own question. It's the chocolate that keeps you going. Thanks for the Whole Foods tip!

Gabriela said...

I enjoyed reading all the comments on this subject. I could write many a post on my church experiences in Latin America, but most of them wouldn't be too favorable-so I don't do it. I try to have a good attitude and go even though for the most part I get very little out of it (my calling, having Guapo on the stand during a 3rd hour sacrament meeting, and the language being the three biggest factors). I go to be an example to my kids and do what I know I should do.

When I travel home for the summer, you can bet I don't miss one meeting-I need the reminder that there are uplifting, strong wards out there somewhere.

yesweareonmars said...

Church, school, office, there are always strange people in any group of humans. I do think it is important to keep your annoyances low key. The same strange people blow everything out of proportion and make a big deal out of everything. Complaining can become a pattern or habit that keeps negative energy flowing so chin up and let it slide off like water on a ducks *#$*#.