Monday, June 01, 2009

what to do?

J is somewhere in Sweden. Northern Sweden. He says it is wildly beautiful, like Maine. I am here at home. With the kids. We ate out tonight because that's what we do when J is away. Oh, and make clam chowder, his least favorite. We did that Saturday.

So here's my problem. Yesterday it stunk when we went out on the porch. This morning it stunk in the entire backyard. This afternoon it stunk in the back and front yard. This evening I found the stink in my kitchen, which looks out on the porch.

There are flies. Those big, purply-green ones, buzzing about drunkenly and bumping themselves against my sliding-glass door.

If J were here, he would crawl under the porch and remove whatever is there. Yes, I married that kind of man. But alas, I do not have that kind of courage.

J will not be home until Saturday night.


Dina said...

I think I would at least try to see what it was. Isn't this a great time to call your home teacher? :)

Mama Ava said...

You need to phone a friend. What do you have that great big close-knit Mormon community for, if not to scrape something dead out from under your porch?

On the other hand (and this is from experience), unless it's really big, just don't go out there for a few days and pretty soon it'll decompose past the smelly stage.

Anonymous said...

Yuck, that's gross. You're a BMW you can go pull er out. Git undah that po'ahch.

ML said...

Well, you know what honey? I'm from Maine, too, and there's no way in heaven or earth that I would crawl under a porch to find out what's dead under there. I also would hate to lay that on my poor husband as soon as he gets home. Find a friend (a really, really, really good friend!) or hire someone to do it.

Chocolate on my Cranium said...

Or you might try paying one of your kids to do it.

Or not.

We had a skunk die under our house one time. The stench was AWFUL, even after it was pulled out and disposed of. Our house, clothes, everything reeked for two weeks. I felt sorry for those who had to sit by us at church. :D

Calandria said...

Auntie Lee, I wish you were here. I know you could do it.

I have been trying to see what I can see with a flashlight, but no luck yet. I can't even tell if it's under the deck or covered porch.

Calandria said...

Ok. I saw it. It's a fox. I feel so bad! Poor thing. We power-washed our deck and covered porch a little over a week ago. You don't think we killed it that way, do you? Wouldn't the fox just get out?

The problem is, it is under the covered porch. I'm not sure anyone can get under there because it's a very narrow opening.

Brenda said...

Eeeeew:) That's got to smell something awful!
From tim--Wow, shades of Edgar Allen Poe's "Cask of Amantillado" where the guy gets walled up alive!!
Notice he didn't offer to come over and pull it out!

Gabriela said...

ewwww and sad.

Poor little fox. :( What are you going to do?

Anonymous said...

I agree with both Mum and Mama Ava... but largely with the fact that you have kids. You know, Mum says she would call a friend, but really, one of the boys (or myself, let's be honest) would be instructed under that porch and the thing would be out.

Besides, all your kids are nice and skinny. They should be able to get under there.

NOTE: do not pay them. I'm a big believer in kids not getting paid to breathe clean air.

ML said...

Okay, Mal's right. I would make one of the boys do it.

Mama Ava said...

You didn't kill it with crawled under there to die, I'm sure.

I'm also sure I'd've taken a hiding over crawling under the porch in my youth.

And (and believe me I am SOOOOOO not a worrying mom--my most common thought is, "sure, go ahead and climb, I've got good health coverage") the idea of a fox makes me think of rabies. Can that be catching from dead animals? Or something. So I may not force my kids, who after all, are city slickers. Let's face it, our kids aren't Montanans or Mainers (Mainites? Mainiacs?)

Calandria said...

Good point, Mama Ava, about the rabies. Aren't you the one who linked to that story about the mom who took a dead, formerly rabid bat into her son's school for everyone to touch? I understand that you can get rabies from touching a dead animal.

I called a few pest removal places yesterday and they would come and get it. The problem is, all pest removal guys seem to be quite a bit larger than I am. I don't think they can fit. The fox is way back there, right beside the house. They recommended prying up the boards of the covered porch.

I wish J were here.

Ave said...

Give G some gloves and make her do it.

Anonymous said...

That thing could have a number of illnesses on it lime disease, bubonic, rabies (although that would probably leave when it was dead). Its summer so your best bet is to let it rot away and dry up. In the heat it will only take a week maybe two if its not hot enough.
Guess you won't be having any guests over for a while.

I wish I was there too honey but only after the thing has dried up ^@^

Anonymous said...

WHAT?! I am not going down there!